My Life Is Better Now That I’m Bigger
Disclaimer: since I've become properly obese, I re-read these old posts and see my body dysmorphia and obsession with food and weight. It's sad to me now. Previous post on fatness. I've worked hard for decades on my negative thinking and self-punishing behaviors. With...
Not Dieting
Right at this moment, a container of homemade brownies sits behind me as I work in my cubicle. In the past I would have actively resisted them while knowing I would love to pop one in my mouth. Today I tell myself I can have as many as I want at any time. In the...
Do Not Diet
Previous post on fatness. Disclaimer: since I've become properly obese, I re-read these old posts and see my body dysmorphia and obsession with food and weight. It's sad to me now. Yes, I've made another U-turn in my nutritional beliefs. In my ongoing search for...
Not Afraid to Give My Age
My 46th birthday was in July, but I'm feeling like it's time to start calling myself 47. Why not? It's only nine months away. In the meantime: my Christmas application tells me there are 76 days until Christmas! October through December is my favorite time of the year.
Change
Previous post on fatness. Disclaimer: since I've become properly obese, I re-read these old posts and see my body dysmorphia and obsession with food and weight. It's sad to me now. I've now read Women Food and God twice and have started When Food is Love: Exploring...
Pet Psychic!
Part of good research is having an open mind and distinguishing the valuable information from the bull-#$%^. I believe any random person taking a guess at what's going on with our dog Ozzie, might get some things right and I work hard to recognize when someone happens...
“Use Your Best Judgment”
When someone says "use your best judgment" they're not being specific about what they want. It's a worrying phrase to me because when someone uses it, they're often trying to warn me to meet some standard of behavior or dress, but they're being unclear. "Use...
Night Screaming
I wish my problem were sleep walking or talking in my sleep. Instead, in the past few months, I've developed the behavior of waking up in the middle of the night screaming. Yes, I wake up at the top of a piercing shriek, with my mouth wide open and a light sweat...
What’s Heavier Than Weight?
Previous post on fatness. Disclaimer: since I've become properly obese, I re-read these old posts and see my body dysmorphia and obsession with food and weight. It's sad to me now. What's heavier than weight is the inner critic and judge that rules my brain and...
Do Dogs See Dead People?
On Labor Day weekend, Ozzie our mild 50-pound pitbull who rarely makes a sound, began barking for no reason. It was my lovely three-day weekend, but it was only lovely for one day. Ozzie kept barking urgently at nothing all day on Sunday and Monday. I thought I’d...
Idiots on The Road
Bob: Honey, there were a lot of idiots on the road tonight. Me: Really? You know, when I drive I never notice people acting like idiots. Pause. Me: Oh. I guess that means it's me. Bob said nothing and kept his eyes on his shoes.
To the Well-Fed: Let Yourself Feel Hungry
Think about what time you ate your last bite last night. Now think of what time you ate your first bite this morning. Now figure out how much time passed between those two events. Do you know what you were doing in that time? You were fasting. Fasting simply means...