“I’m sorry I tried to kill myself”
When someone tries to end their life, but it doesn't work and they end up in the hospital, one thing they often say is "I'm sorry." But is that really necessary? What are they apologizing for? Having a mind distorted by mental illness? Being a screw-up? If we...
10-Year Anniversary of a 5-Year Marriage
Yesterday was the 10-year anniversary of the day we celebrated our wedding. My husband and I got married on one day and had the reception six months later. For some reason the 10-year anniversary of the wedding ceremony didn't hit me as hard last March, but today I...
How Do I Stop the Pain?
Previous post on weight & health: Not getting better I run a depression support group Meetup and this week we talked about ways to treat depression other than with medication. I've happily been on anti-depressants since 2010, so I'm not knocking meds, but I wanted...
I’m Bored
If any friends or family follow this blog as a way of seeing how I'm doing, I'm fine. I can't explain the four-month gap between posts except that maybe I didn't feel like blogging because I felt okay. I blog more when I'm unhappy, I think. Maybe that's typical of...
The Depressive Episodes Shorten
My depressions usually last for months or weeks, and in the past it's been years. Earlier this year I had a depression that lasted for six weeks, but since then I've had two episodes that were much shorter: a week at the end of March, and one day this past weekend....
Tippett Responded!
Even though my review of a podcast on depression wasn't favorable, I tweeted it and tagged the host, Krista Tippett, and the show itself, On Being. And Tippett responded! This is great, although I'm not sure what she means by "it often works this cyclical way." Does...
It’s Back (Depression)
I didn't even get one month before the depression came back. It rolled back over me on Monday and as hard as I've been trying to pretend "as if," I can't stop it. The twelve step programs advocate "fake it til you make it." Act the way you wish you were and eventually...
And Then One Day!
My depression lifted! I'm SO grateful. Last Tuesday I went to one of my part-time jobs managing a co-working space, and when I started interacting with people I noticed that I felt like smiling for the first time in weeks. In the next moment I noticed that I felt...
Depression One-Liner
HA HA HA HA HA! https://twitter.com/ChicanaOnEdge/status/971088839522603008
Not Getting Better
Previous post on weight & health: Weight loosening I recently revised the labels on my blog. If you go to the labels cloud in the right column (in desktop view) and click on fatness, you'll see that I've been obsessed with food, diets, exercise, losing and gaining...
Death Sucks. So Does Life.
When I found out that the husband of a friend had died I first felt sad, then angry. It makes me furious that so many people want to die, but instead people like her man die. But it's a random, godless world so there's no place to direct my anger. Everything just...
Stuff I’ve Noticed
Inspired by the final blog post of Obesio the Loser, a former online-friend, here's a list of stuff I've noticed over the decades. 1. Sometimes it gets better. Sometimes it doesn't. 2. No two people are exactly alike, but few people are genuinely special. 3. I still...