Michael Jackson
There's this thing we do when we hear about the worst of human behavior. We're shocked and disbelieving and then we distance ourselves from the act by wondering what kind of monster does such a thing. We feel certain that neither we nor anyone we know could ever do...
Please, American White Women
The open letter technique is a clichéd way to address a challenging topic and when I see a writer begin with "Dear Democratic Party" or "Dear President Trump" I think, "If you really want to address those people, why post your letter here?" But I'm doing it because...
Stop Talking about INTENTION
When a white person apologizes for having been racially offensive, they often say it wasn't their intention to do that and they didn't intend it to come out that way and they had no intention of offending anyone and it wasn't their intention to upset people. Why do...
“Spiritual But Not Religious”
The phrase sounds defensive. “Spiritual-but-not-religious” invokes the very thing the person wants to distance herself from. Why mention religion at all?
Perseverance
Thank you to David Parker for this topic: perseverance. I'd say there are two kinds of perseverance which is officially defined as "the continued effort to achieve despite difficulties." One kind is consciously refusing to give up because you believe you will...
How to End a Friendship
Also: How to make friends, part 1 How to make friends, part 2 How to make friends, part 3 How to maintain a friendship Sometimes -- even if you've been good friends in the past -- it's time to end a friendship. On TV friendships often end because one person stole...
How to Maintain a Friendship
Also: How to make friends, part 1 How to make friends, part 2 How to make friends, part 3 How to end a friendship Have you ever had a friend you felt great about, but then they stopped responding to your texts or other messages? Don't be that person. Ever. Keep...
How to Make Friends, Part 3
Also: How to make friends, part 1 How to make friends, part 2 How to maintain a friendship How to end a friendship You've overcome the initial fear of rejection and have the contact info of someone you'd like to make friends with. Here's what I've learned to do...
How to Make Friends, Part 2
Also: How to make friends, part 1 How to make friends, part 3 How to maintain a friendship How to end a friendship You've wrestled with your fear of rejection, decided to be braver and less lonely, and are ready to make some new friends. Now do this. 1. Carry...
How to Make Friends, Part 1
Americans are bad at making friends. As children we make friends with the kids in our class or whoever lives near us. In college we're friends with any of the thousands of people on our campus. But as grown-ups outside of those friendship-petri-dishes, too many of us...
Things in Chicago for $3 (or less)
Jane Sun of Sunnyvale, CA asked me for a list of things that cost $3, so here goes. Jane, I’ve modified your request so it’s about Chicago-specific things you can buy for $3. Obviously you can get a Starbucks cup of regular drip coffee for $3, etc. Things you can get...
If Not “Where are you from?” Then What?
Karen in Chicago asks "How do you start a conversation with someone about their nationality without offending them? For example, a Lyft or Uber driver. And, if that is possible, what should you ask them?" I love this question because I blogged Stop asking: Where are...