Valentine’s Day Poem 1
"On, on --"there's a light out on my string of pretty lightshas it always been out?did it used to be on, but recently burned out?i replaced the bulb, but it doesn't go on.i checked the wiring, but it's fineall the other bulbs are oni just can't get that one oni have...
Valentine’s Day Poem 2
Valentine's Day Sucks Dog Penis and So Does My Love LifeValentine's Day sucks dog penis and so does my love life.- rr2/12/05
Why Don’t Birds Freeze?
I don't understand how birds/ducks can swim in freezing ice water, fly in freezing ice air and live in the freezing ice cold the way they do. Why don't they die of cold? How can they not be extinct? Does anyone know how birds survive the cold?
10 Days to the Big Gig
My feverish open mic activity continues as I get ready for my February 16th performance (details to the right of this page). My pitch is "After you have a sucky Valentine's Day, come to my gig and feel better - guaranteed." Stop by if you're around for any of these...
Dating, Part Infinity
On her 38th birthday she registers at City Hall as Desperate, as required by law. This status requires her to accept any date offered by anyone, regardless of how beautiful she still is and regardless of how unattractive, ill-mannered or dull he is. Their crush...
Confession of a Fat, Selfish American
The following is my response to a friend's email. Scott Dvorak sent me some very insightful comments about my last blog posting and I thank him for it. Scott, I'm honored that you have been reading my blog. Thanks. I think your analysis of my last post is very...
Another Fat, Selfish American, Part II
Yesterday I ran into a friend of mine at the gym who railed for a good twenty minutes about the state of our country, how bad George Bush is for us, the increasing limitations on our freedoms and rights, etc. Donna told me to read Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale...
Dating, Part Six
Startling moment: I have a date tonight with a new guy who looks great online and sounds great on the phone, and...I don't want to. I'd rather go out with the guy who drove me home last night, the one who thinks there's no information to be gleaned from my lack of...
Change in Open Mic Schedule
I invite you to come with me to some interesting places as I "open mic" my way into the consciousness of as many people as possible as I get ready for my February 16th performance (details to the right of this page). I was going to play somewhere else tonight, but now...
Barbecue Ribs Tonight
I heard that Thursday night was busy at the restaurant, so I had hopes that Friday night would be busy, too. Earning enough to live on is tough while we're in the January o-my-god-I-spent-way-too-much-on-Christmas business slump. But then the weather forecast turned...
Another Fat, Selfish American
My friend Martin has been forwarding me articles about Democratic strategizing and various responses to -- I guess -- Bush's inauguration this week. He's written me extensively on his views of how a moral, religious agenda fits/doesn't fit with the Democratic one....
Last Night
I had called the Elbo Room to see what time I should be there. The guy I spoke to said to be there before 9:00 pm. I got there at 8:35, but the signup sheet was full. I was very annoyed, but took off for another open mic at Subterranean. I arrived there in plenty of...