There’s this thing we do when we hear about the worst of human behavior. We’re shocked and disbelieving and then we distance ourselves from the act by wondering what kind of monster does such a thing. We feel certain that neither we nor anyone we know could ever do that.
This delusional behavior must stop.
When we feel certain that no one we know and love is capable of doing anything bad, we blind ourselves to the reality that of course people in our lives are capable of doing bad things. Thinking that someone as nice as a philanthropist or as smart and quiet as a math teacher could never do anything criminal or unethical leaves us vulnerable to letting bad behavior happen right under our noses.
Because our denial is a hundred times worse when it’s a celebrity we adore, millions of people refused to believe that Bill Cosby raped countless women. And now millions refuse to believe that Michael Jackson assaulted and raped countless little boys. We put celebrities on a ridiculously high pedestal and think they can do no wrong.
But it’s only an extension of the way we typically let our emotions decide who the criminals are. Maybe it’s human nature to want to call aberrant behavior “evil” (although there’s no such thing) and contain it far from us. But to truly believe that unthinkable behavior is a rare deviation that we can weed out is so misguided as to be destructive. That belief keeps us vulnerable to endless transgressions.
There’s an expression Americans love: a few bad apples. We take it from the saying A few bad apples spoil the bunch, and we trot out this phrase when we don’t want to accept that a behavior is widespread. We want to blame only a few people for bad behavior, get rid of them and then forget the whole incident.
We did this with Bill Cosby by making his television shows and specials disappear. Likewise, since Roseanne Barr finally established herself as a racist non grata, the 2018 reboot of Roseanne is no longer available on TV or streaming services. And we’ve started the process with Michael Jackson as his Simpsons episode has been shelved, some radio stations have dropped his music from their playlists and protesters are demanding that MGM Las Vegas cancel its Cirque du Soleil show, “Michael Jackson One.”
Such actions result in less attention and revenue going to racists and criminals, but they also act to sweep the whole mess under the rug. We might say we want to erase the legacies they don’t deserve or not give them another penny, but I suspect what really motivates us is not wanting to think about what they did. We hate believing that racism, pedophilia and serial rapists are part of our culture and we’ll do anything to pretend that they aren’t. And if we can’t pretend such destructive behavior isn’t American, we fall back on believing those people are monsters, but we and the people we know are not.
In her essay I come from a family of pedophiles, and I’m telling you it’s OK to like Michael Jackson (March 15, 2019), Melanie Blow asserts that very well-accomplished people can be pedophiles so it wouldn’t make sense to remove everything every pedophile has ever contributed to society. She also points out that refusing to believe that someone like Michael Jackson can molest children contributes to the problem of not believing abuse victims. She writes, “If fans who never met Michael Jackson cannot accept that we have strong reason to believe he sexually abused children, what hope do we have that countless spouses, adult children, siblings, and parents can reach the same conclusion about someone in their family?”
Let’s stop pretending that only complete strangers can be criminals. Let’s stop pretending that criminals can easily be identified, contained and eradicated. And when we identify such people, let’s not try to get them out of our minds as quickly as possible. Let’s allow those crimes to occupy our attention enough to sharpen our eyes for any sign that someone we know has been assaulted or raped (or has assaulted others). Opening our minds to possible abuse victims is a much better response than agitating for someone’s music to be silenced. Being more open and sympathetic to people who say they’re victims could actually change things.
This delusional behavior must stop.
When we feel certain that no one we know and love is capable of doing anything bad, we blind ourselves to the reality that of course people in our lives are capable of doing bad things. Thinking that someone as nice as a philanthropist or as smart and quiet as a math teacher could never do anything criminal or unethical leaves us vulnerable to letting bad behavior happen right under our noses.
Because our denial is a hundred times worse when it’s a celebrity we adore, millions of people refused to believe that Bill Cosby raped countless women. And now millions refuse to believe that Michael Jackson assaulted and raped countless little boys. We put celebrities on a ridiculously high pedestal and think they can do no wrong.
But it’s only an extension of the way we typically let our emotions decide who the criminals are. Maybe it’s human nature to want to call aberrant behavior “evil” (although there’s no such thing) and contain it far from us. But to truly believe that unthinkable behavior is a rare deviation that we can weed out is so misguided as to be destructive. That belief keeps us vulnerable to endless transgressions.
There’s an expression Americans love: a few bad apples. We take it from the saying A few bad apples spoil the bunch, and we trot out this phrase when we don’t want to accept that a behavior is widespread. We want to blame only a few people for bad behavior, get rid of them and then forget the whole incident.
We did this with Bill Cosby by making his television shows and specials disappear. Likewise, since Roseanne Barr finally established herself as a racist non grata, the 2018 reboot of Roseanne is no longer available on TV or streaming services. And we’ve started the process with Michael Jackson as his Simpsons episode has been shelved, some radio stations have dropped his music from their playlists and protesters are demanding that MGM Las Vegas cancel its Cirque du Soleil show, “Michael Jackson One.”
Such actions result in less attention and revenue going to racists and criminals, but they also act to sweep the whole mess under the rug. We might say we want to erase the legacies they don’t deserve or not give them another penny, but I suspect what really motivates us is not wanting to think about what they did. We hate believing that racism, pedophilia and serial rapists are part of our culture and we’ll do anything to pretend that they aren’t. And if we can’t pretend such destructive behavior isn’t American, we fall back on believing those people are monsters, but we and the people we know are not.
In her essay I come from a family of pedophiles, and I’m telling you it’s OK to like Michael Jackson (March 15, 2019), Melanie Blow asserts that very well-accomplished people can be pedophiles so it wouldn’t make sense to remove everything every pedophile has ever contributed to society. She also points out that refusing to believe that someone like Michael Jackson can molest children contributes to the problem of not believing abuse victims. She writes, “If fans who never met Michael Jackson cannot accept that we have strong reason to believe he sexually abused children, what hope do we have that countless spouses, adult children, siblings, and parents can reach the same conclusion about someone in their family?”
Let’s stop pretending that only complete strangers can be criminals. Let’s stop pretending that criminals can easily be identified, contained and eradicated. And when we identify such people, let’s not try to get them out of our minds as quickly as possible. Let’s allow those crimes to occupy our attention enough to sharpen our eyes for any sign that someone we know has been assaulted or raped (or has assaulted others). Opening our minds to possible abuse victims is a much better response than agitating for someone’s music to be silenced. Being more open and sympathetic to people who say they’re victims could actually change things.
I find it hard to feel too sorry for Michael Jackson: having young boys sleeping with him at his ranch is going to attract accusations of sexual molestation, even if no such action ever occurred. Nonetheless, “repressed memories” are, according to serious psychologists, a lot of bunk.
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/308141778_A_skeptical_view_of_repressed_memory_evidence
Yes, I think under certain conditions, any of us could do much, much worse than we can imagine. It might take someone giving you a choice between doing a terrible thing or that terrible thing happening to someone you love, but you're right: we're lying to ourselves if we think we don't have that capacity. And we're lying if we think someone with wonderful qualities and incredible accomplishments doesn't have the capacity to commit horrible acts.
Insightful again, Regina. "There but for the grace of God go I." Until I recognize that I, as any human, could do anything under certain provocations, I'm just lyinbg to myself. And Americans seem to lie to ourselves more than other cultures.