Last November, I cut out sugar, grains, dairy and caffeine at the suggestion of a doctor who identified those things as contributing to my hormones being out of balance. Having gone on this type of diet a few times in my life, it’s felt familiar even though it’s also been uncomfortable and annoying to have to give up so many of my favorite foods. But maybe this time I’m ready to make these changes more permanent because after eight months of abstaining from sugar (including fruit and alcohol), grains (even brown rice and quinoa), dairy and caffeine, I’m not feeling the need to add these things back. In the past, chiropractors have put me on this candida diet for about six months and each time, at the end of those six months, I was chomping at the bit (as it were) to get back to desserts, processed snacks and bread. This time it’s different.
Maybe eight months is the magical amount of time because right now I feel like I could continue to eat this way indefinitely. Cheese has lost a lot of appeal for me and most kinds now seem overly fermented and gross. A lot of foods and beverages taste too sweet, so I pass them up. My digestive system is more sensitive than ever to bread and pasta (they cause me stomach aches), so I don’t want much of them. And grains like corn and rice kind of feel like non-foods that don’t make me feel full or satisfied, so what’s the point of eating them? (I never developed a coffee or alcohol habit.)
So, this could be it: at the age of 49 I’m going to become more boring than ever. I’ll only date men who are comfortable with a woman who doesn’t drink alcohol, “getting a cup of coffee” will strictly be a metaphor for me, I’ll lose all interest in dessert menus and my friends will grow impatient with me because I’ll never be in the mood for pizza or an ice cream cone.
I’ll also have to be careful not to become (more) insufferable. I’d better train myself to never talk about food, ever. If anyone asks me why I’m not eating what everyone else is eating, I’ll give a non-answer and then change the subject. When I need to say how great I feel without dairy or wheat in my diet, I’ll contain my remarks to this blog (where everyone can ignore me if they want). This might be my new lifestyle, if I can manage it: eating a completely un-American diet while never saying a word about it.
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