I’ve been using the OK Cupid dating website and part of the profile consists of a series of multiple choice questions. Some of the questions make sense (“Are you looking for someone to settle down with and marry?”). Some make less sense (“Do you drink milk and juice straight out of the carton and then put it back in the fridge?”). And a couple feel pretty important. One of those is “Do you keep your promises?” The multiple choice options include “When convenient” and “Usually.” I, of course, chose “Always” because if I’m not 100% certain that I will keep a promise, I don’t make it.
What disturbs me is the number of men who choose this answer: “Whenever possible.” I don’t know what that means, but it sounds to me the same as “Whenever convenient.” What does “whenever possible” mean? Anyone?
At the end of April, I posted that I was taking a one-month break from blogging, but I’d be back in June. I’d like to take this opportunity to point out that I keep my promises. If I don’t know that I can keep the promise, I do not make it. I’m back.
Stop with the Joy
Joy doesn’t feel welcoming. Listening to our pain would be.
My guess (I'm not a guy) is that they mean they make promises they intend to keep but then find they cannot keep them. Which means they make promises too soon and too easily. They'd LIKE to do what you want, so they SAY they will, but then real life happens.
If I were on Cupid, I'd use the answer to elicit more information. "Give me an example of 'keeping a promise whenever possible.'" But then, I'm interested in what makes other people tick, so the answer would be interesting to me whatever it is. It would also make sense to simply use that answer as a first-line sorting criteria – "Not worth a date."
Rudy Giuliani – yes, that's how it sounds to me.
Cranky Ex-Manager – hey, I'm nothing if not strident. And yes, "always" can be a controversial word to use, but I still say I always keep my promises and like when others can say the same.
"Wenever possible" means I always try but history has shown me that I don't always keep my promises. I take it as a sign of integrity to admit when you fall short of your ideals. "Always" can come across as as strident and unrealistic.
Congrats on being back from your hiatus. And I'm not sure what "whenever possible" means either even though I'm a guy. I think it means "whenever I feel like it."