I feel down today. My restaurant closes next week and I’m starting to feel sad. Those who work in the deli at Nick and Tony’s aren’t going to be placed at other jobs and today they were pissed, sad and upset and so was I, in sympathy. The general manager was also having a bad morning (probably because he hated breaking that news to them) so I felt bad for him, too. I sat down and cried in the bathroom at one point just because I felt like I was carrying all this anger and sadness. Then I was supposed to have a date with this guy, but somehow we lost each other (he doesn’t have a cell phone) and I finally rode the train home alone, just feeling depressed.

Depressed. Tomorrow and the day after I work double shifts and I simultaneously want to be there for that long and don’t.

Now I’ve bought and eaten a big piece of cheesecake and I feel sick. I’m hurting myself with overeating. My stomach hurts. What a suckrat day.

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