And on days when I’m not feeling as content as my last post indicates, I mourn the end of my marriage. My marriage only lasted five years, but it was good and now it’s over. I cry and tap and cry and let the grief pass through.
Grief
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What Is It To You If I’m Married?
In the early days of realizing my marriage was over, I'd say to friends, "This is it. I'm not getting married again." I'd get responses like, "Don't say that," and "Don't give up on marriage." People would genuinely try to convince me that I should keep an open mind...
Hate Exercise? Don’t Do It
We are such a self-punishing culture. Americans, especially women, often try to achieve ideal health or appearance in truly painful ways. While there's no getting around the pain of laser treatment or pelvic exams, there are many ways that we hurt ourselves completely...
Health Benefits for Women Go into Effect August 1, 2012
I have a signature on my personal email that was particularly appropriate when I emailed this information to friends. It reads, "You can't cure families; you can only prevent them."
I Don’t Want to Wear a Bra Anymore
I've just about had it with wearing a bra. Years ago I posted that I was going to stop wearing them, but that only lasted a few months (back then my restaurant uniform included a full apron that allowed me to go bra-less without anyone noticing at all). In the past...
Singlehood and Marriage Are Getting Better for Women and Worse
It's the article that everyone has blogged about and discussed, and I know I'm about two months late, but I still want to make some notes. If you want a nuanced reading of Kate Bolick's All the Single Ladies, which came out in the November 2011 Atlantic, please go...
SlutWalk Chicago
It's called SlutWalk Chicago and it takes place on Saturday June 4th. From Newser.com: It all started with some ill-considered advice from a Toronto policeman. To prevent rape, he told a group of law students, “Avoid dressing like sluts.” That gaffe sparked a...
The Day After Valentine’s Day
My worst Valentine’s Day.
“¿Por qué no eres casada?”
The irony is thicker than my American accent.
To the Girls
I had a great gig on Sunday night. It was my biggest audience yet, and included people who were neither my friends nor friends of friends, but bona fide FANS who just came out because they like my music. That was very significant to me. I called it my "Christmas Show"...
The Myth of Marriage
Thanks to those of you who responded to yesterday’s posting, either by commenting here or sending me an email. I appreciate all of your input. I guess I'm just expressing the frustration of having no control over random chance (not an original expression). A college...
Dating, Part Three
Not believing in god or destiny, I believe it's up to us to make things happen for ourselves. But after having tried many methods to find a lasting relationship, I'm about to conclude that this is the one area in which there is nothing I can do. A friend once said to...
Learning How to Be a Girl
A Transplanted Californian Re-programing for the Chivalry of the Midwest I came of age in California in the 1980’s. I was painfully aware, even from the inside of them, that they were totally lame compared to the cool 70’s and the political 60’s. I’m still surprised...
Dating, Part Two: The Ballad of Regina
The Ballad of Regina or The Divorce Fairy or F@#$! F@#$ me! Gather 'round, you Singletons and you will hear a tale. His name was Mario and from Havana he did hail. His bride and he dreamt of a U.S. life, so free and fine, but she had a change of heart and had to stay...
My Favorite Original Poem: Spinster
Spinster Underneath piles of wedding lingerie, dented brass dreams, dulled by disappointment, Under faded images of strong, handsome men with perfect teeth and silvery lace dusted with loneliness, I find quivering anticipation, new and wet, excited to grow and stretch...