Chicana on the Edge

Mentioning the unmentionable since 2004

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Loosening the Grip of Food Over Me

Loosening the Grip of Food Over Me

Previous post on weight & health: Stranger Here: a memoir on weight loss surgery I'm still struggling to accept my new body, the one I've grown into since I stopped my lifelong punishment of starving and binge-ing. After years of forcing myself to stay a size...

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I’m a Failure – y Que?

I’m a Failure – y Que?

Failure gets such bad press, but it really doesn't deserve it. Who cares if you fail? It doesn't mean your life is over (unless your failure causes your death). I'm a big failure and I'll tell you all about it. My first failure was leaving Cornell University in 1993...

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Stranger Here: A memoir on Weight Loss Surgery

Stranger Here: A memoir on Weight Loss Surgery

Previous post on weight & health: Someone asked me about being pregnant Jen Larsen gives a stunningly honest account of her weight loss through surgery in Stranger Here: How Weight-Loss Surgery Transformed My Body and Messed with My Head. With a publication...

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Thin or Happy? It Might Really Be a Choice

Previous post on weight and health: Doctors, please don't tell fat people to lose weight A book called Health At Every Size: The Surprising Truth about Your Weight by Linda Bacon is causing big shifts for me. It promotes accepting all bodies regardless of size...

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On Fat Tuesday I Will Fear No Food

I'm excited about Fat Tuesday (Mardi Gras on 12 Feb) this year because now that I've embraced the Health At Every Size approach to health, I no longer torment myself with food as I used to. If I want the food, I eat the food; if I don't want the...

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Die, Inner Critic, Die!

Sitting in my weekly EFT tapping circle, I tapped as I listened to topics like family dynamics, self-nurture and the feeling of not being good enough. As I tapped, my feelings of not being good enough and being too fat, grew. "I really hate myself," I thought, as I...

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How To Be Overweight

How To Be Overweight

Previous post on weight and health: Uncomfortable with the new me I'm a small-boned, petite woman who is all of five feet two inches tall. I'm 46 and a half years old. Most of my adult life, my weight has hovered between 120 and 135. With my sweet tooth and use...

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Uncomfortable with the New Me

Uncomfortable with the New Me

Previous post on my fatness. I'm fatter these days, but also happier. I've kicked my harsh inner critic out of the driver's seat and am treating myself gently and kindly. I'm not restricting food, I'm not eating for emotional reasons and I feel physically great: more...

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My Life Is Better Now That I’m Bigger

Disclaimer: since I've become properly obese, I re-read these old posts and see my body dysmorphia and obsession with food and weight. It's sad to me now. Previous post on fatness. I've worked hard for decades on my negative thinking and self-punishing behaviors. With...

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Do Not Diet

Do Not Diet

Previous post on fatness. Disclaimer: since I've become properly obese, I re-read these old posts and see my body dysmorphia and obsession with food and weight. It's sad to me now. Yes, I've made another U-turn in my nutritional beliefs. In my ongoing search for...

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Change

Previous post on fatness. Disclaimer: since I've become properly obese, I re-read these old posts and see my body dysmorphia and obsession with food and weight. It's sad to me now. I've now read Women Food and God twice and have started When Food is Love: Exploring...

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What’s Heavier Than Weight?

Previous post on fatness. Disclaimer: since I've become properly obese, I re-read these old posts and see my body dysmorphia and obsession with food and weight. It's sad to me now. What's heavier than weight is the inner critic and judge that rules my brain and...

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I’m a “Loser”

Yesterday morning I withdrew $160 from the ATM and now I can't find it. I've gone through all my bags. That cash never made it home. I remember fumbling with it when I stopped at an Argo Tea right after the bank. I think someone had a very good day yesterday and I'm a...

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Getting Out the Front Door

Some people spend their adulthoods moving from one career accomplishment to another. Some pour themselves into raising families and/or building a long-lasting marriage. Some improve their communities, help build companies, nurture their extended family or tend...

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How I Got Married

Lately a couple of people have expressed an interest in how I managed to get married at the age of 41, after years of relationship failure. Before I write about my experience finding a husband, please understand – 1) When it comes to romantic love, I have no patience...

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