This will be the first Christmas I spend without my mother alive. I wonder if others have experienced anything like this with their parents: while I remember good times with my mother, she was abusive to me even into my adulthood, making me relieved when she died. My...
A writer thanks those of us who didn’t end up being bad parents
This is a revision of a piece I first posted in December 2011. Family gatherings are fun, pleasant and filled with love and respect, especially during the holidays. I offer the following suggestions merely as a public service for that small, practically non-existent,...
A rare short story by me.
The big secret I referred to on my blog last month was that my mother was in hospice care. That's why so many of my June posts were about death. My mother and I had been estranged for years, but we managed to say a loving good-bye when I flew out to California during...
Not everyone goes running to their parent's death bed: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-yahxMDYH0rY/UbPg5fTcjHI/AAAAAAAAYqU/Ok07nt9I9BQ/s1600/25.jpg In fact many people take their time, if they show up at all, but just don't talk about it.
When a dying wish conflicts with the needs of the living, which should take priority? Some extreme cases would be pretty easy to call: if a person's last wish is that a friend should go murder her ex-husband, the friend might not have trouble disobeying. But what...
Blogging is hard when there are things you don't want certain people in your life to know. I hate secrets. I grew up with secrets. My mother does secrets all too well. I don't tend to keep personal secrets about myself (as my blog readers have probably figured out)...
May has always been a crappy month for me. I dislike the loss of winter with its quiet, soothing cover of clouds and coldness. I'm also prone to spring allergies, but mostly I don't react well to Mother's Day. Or at least I didn't in the past. For a long time I've...
This is merely a public service. I am not talking about the family I just visited last weekend (uh, hi Dad). Family gatherings are often fun and pleasant. This post is just for those few people who have family they'd rather avoid. 1. If you have a job with vacation...
Children are a poor substitute for a legacy. Try writing a memoir instead. KC Hagans, 2009 You can't cure families, you can only prevent them. Regina Rodriguez-Martin, 2010 Please quote us (with credit).
It occurs to me that anyone who has just started reading my blog might wonder why I have chosen to stay child-free. The reasons appear in a post I wrote over five years ago, at the age of 39. Take a look. This post also contains the phrase "at the...
I'm grateful for the place my family has in my life.
I've been saying it for years: You can't cure families; you can only prevent them.
[The following discussion is completely academic and philosophical with no connection to anything real that has ever happened, anywhere.] Given that the members of a family have the longest history together, know each other the best and have had the most time to build...