Chicana on the Edge

Mentioning the unmentionable since 2004

Search Results

Your search results for Single life

I think terribly about myself

One friend read my previous post and the responses to it and pointed out to me the folllowing: if I HAD gotten married and divorced, I would now be beating myself up because I'd FAILED at marriage and it wouldn't matter if the entire dating world saw me as a step...

read more

How I meet men

I'm answering this question asked by Modigli: Where do you meet these men you have been going on dates with? In my 23 years of dating, I have met men using every strategy I've ever heard of, including blind dating, online dating (various websites), speed dating,...

read more

Desperate

In a college psychology course (twenty years ago), I read about behavioral experiments performed on birds. They were taught that hitting a button would dispense food. Once this behavior was in place and the expectation set, the food was with-held. The initial response...

read more

Normal

Today I heard a song that reminded me of being 12 years old, when I believed my life would be fun and exciting when I got older. I strain to hear such songs, as if remembering and recapturing that 12-year-old sense of anticipation might somehow straighten out the past...

read more

Single-Never-Married

I didn’t know bad poetry was a side effect of a crappy love life. It’s a boring subject. I’m bored with it. I am sick of my own one-color whining and my same old story. Blah blah blah. I wish I could end my self-judgement. I wish I could stop seeing myself as a loser...

read more

help i can’t stop writing bad poetry

I've got to pull my focus off of my suck rat love life and concentrate on today: tonight is the big gig! I'm doing two new songs and a "new" one that's really an old one but I revised the lyrics (I do that a lot). The rehearsal with Neal (guitar) and Jean (percussion)...

read more

Dating, Part Infinity plus one

So This Is Love porous membrane surrounds me fingers push sharp points, but it doesn't break trouble breathing, trouble moving panic starts like an old womb, my prison feels familiar yet hostile I want out my arms are extended, but it stretches with me trouble seeing...

read more

Dating, Part Six

Startling moment: I have a date tonight with a new guy who looks great online and sounds great on the phone, and...I don't want to. I'd rather go out with the guy who drove me home last night, the one who thinks there's no information to be gleaned from my lack of...

read more

I’M HIRED!

Yes, it's true: my long nightmare of 9 weeks of sleeping in, staying out late, performing, dating, and throwing dinner parties with lots of leftovers, is over. TOday I re-join the ranks of the employed. I'm excited to begin my brand new career in the restaurant...

read more

Dating, Part 5 Million

The manhunt is over. What does that mean? Well first of all, I and my therapist of 11 years have once again realized that the idea of a relationship is terrifying to me. I recognize yet again that I expect being in a relationship to cause me to prioritize my...

read more

Dating, Part Four: 22 1/2 Years of Failure

Am I just incapable of falling in love? Is it possible that this is the one problem that I can't solve, no matter how much money I spend, no matter how many approaches and techniques I try, no matter how many decades I work on it? I've been dating since I was 15....

read more

The Myth of Marriage

Thanks to those of you who responded to yesterday’s posting, either by commenting here or sending me an email. I appreciate all of your input. I guess I'm just expressing the frustration of having no control over random chance (not an original expression). A college...

read more

Dating, Part Two: The Ballad of Regina

The Ballad of Regina or The Divorce Fairy or F@#$! F@#$ me! Gather 'round, you Singletons and you will hear a tale. His name was Mario and from Havana he did hail. His bride and he dreamt of a U.S. life, so free and fine, but she had a change of heart and had to stay...

read more

Dating, Part One

I'm encouraged by the responses to yesterday's posting about America's foreign policy. Some responded here and some friends emailed me directly. Thank you for telling me you feel the same way. I feel less alone and I feel like a silence has been broken. I'm lightening...

read more